Been seeing someone for exactly 4 months now.he is 36 years old.
The first week after i agreed to go out with him he started showing jealousy signs.before agreeing to date him he knew i had always gotten a lot of male attention.Subsequently whenever any of my male friends called me and he he was nearby he would frown and sulk.this is was just 2 weeks into dating.
Then he would start showing up at my place unannounced any time he felt like it saying he was just checking up on me.
I kind of suspect he does not trust any woman.
He started freaking me out when he show up even if i had not agreed to see him that day!sometimes he would even show up AN HOUR after i just saw him.
He has shown signs of obsessive behavior.
i could not have a moment to myself even when we just hung out 2 hours ago he would call/text to ask irrelevant questions or to tell me he loves me(he told me he loved me 2 weeks into dating)!
3 weeks into dating we spoke one day and i told him i was going to see my friend(female)
he then asks "how come i do not know all your friends" and i am like DUDE SERIOUSLY!
i spent a week over at his place and on the friday of said week (after not having an outing in almost a month)i told him i needed to go chill with my friend.thus began enquiries as to who this friend was,where the friend was located and the friend's name.He abandoned an important meeting crucial to his CAREER that evening because he wanted to know who my friend was.(what mature 36 year old does that)?
We had a huge fight that evening like seriously i do not get nosey about who he is going out with and i believe in a relationship people need their space.
He is a nice and caring guy but he NEEDS to get a life!
The morning my folks travelled out of town we hung out up until 1am then i told him to drop me home.at 6am in the morning i woke up to see someone calling my phone with a restricted no over 10 times and then the DOORBELL RINGS! i was so scared (being the only one in the house) i peeped out of my window and lo and behold a few minutes later i saw his car pass my house.
He would offer to drive me to school (my college is about 35 miles from my house)which is sweet but he practically would drop anything to take me to school and then WAIT in school till my classes were done.
Not meaning to seem conceited but is being a bit attractive a curse because this guy has frustrated the life out of me!!
He tells me he loves me,constantly apologizes but i cant stand being with an insecure man.
Now i can see why he has never been married!No woman wants someone who does not respect her space and chokes her all the time?
Isnt a healthy relationship about making sure both your lives are filled with activities that involve and also dont involve each other? like creating a balance?
He once told me he does not need my permission to come over unannounced since we are dating!
He hides his number to call sometimes(i do not know why),once called my phone 12 TIMES startling me in the middle of the night after we had spoken earlier that night.
I am at my my wits end.I am considering ending it with him.
He is caring in every other way but
Advise Please?|||I understand that it's easy to feel like he must love you since he puts so much effort into being with you, but that is most certainly NOT the case. I don't mean to sound over the top, but this is a dangerous situation, and should not be taken lightly. I'm sure that most people would agree that a vital part of any relationship is trust, right? If this man trusted you, he would not follow your every move. If he loved you, he would want the best for you, and would want you to have an exciting and fulfilling life, outside of your relationship with him. This is not love. This is well frankly, frightening.
I would suggest ending things IMMEDIATELY, and perhaps seeing if you could live with a friend or something for a little while after wards? I realize this all sounds very over the top, but you never know what men like this are capable of, and there's no such thing as playing it "too safe."|||Post smaller questions please.No a stalker never loves you.A stalker is obsessed with you.|||Be careful when ending a relationship with someone who is abusive (yes, stalking is mental/emotional abuse and can escalate to physical). Usually things get worse when the victim tries to leave. Make sure there are people who know where you are at all times when you are planning on leaving him-if you plan on it. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE and they can help you make a safety plan.
Be careful-he is watching you.|||Sounds like you guys have trust issues. I am a very private person and don't easily let people into my life or share things with them. My fiance was also that way at the start of our relationship 2years ago. He didn't understand the private side of me because he is very open. He was acting in ways similar to your guy and I was determined to be more private. One day, I had a serious discussion with him about it and discovered that he really did care about me and acted the way he did because some of my actions were suspicious to him and he just could not understand why someone he cares about could not be open with him. He told me that he feels like I am hiding things and this was causing him to distrust me and I also didn't trust him enough to let him into my life at the time. However, we both decided to make changes that will build the trust in our relationship. We will be getting married in January.
Usually this kind of behavior means trust is lacking in some measure on both sides. You should try talking to him about why he is behaving that way and you will likely discover that it has to do with trust. Trust is not automatic it has to be built by both people.
Couple of articles that might help
http://www.familyresource.com/relationships/building-and-maintaining/five-ingredients-for-developing-trust-in-a-relationship
http://www.ehow.com/how_2299228_build-trust-relationships.html
Goodluck
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